Sunday, June 25, 2017

A STORY ABOUT MY SON AND A CANADIAN TREE

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

When Favorite Young Man was a rowdy Favorite Young Boy and The Hurricane was so little that she didn't even show signs of becoming a tropical storm, we lived near Seattle. Every now and again, we'd hop on a ferry to visit the beauty that is Canada.

On one trip, we spent the afternoon in Stanley Park in Vancouver, British Columbia––one thousand acres of heaven.



We went to an outdoor show at the aquarium:


It was a perfect, early summer's day.

We also strolled around the park for a while, and stopped where we saw swings and children playing so Favorite Young Boy could expend some of his boundless energy. Now, you have to understand something about the person who is now Favorite Young Man. When I popped him out at the hospital, he came out screaming I'm gonna end up with all sorts of injuries and scars from skateboarding, roller blading, bicycling, and a bunch of sports. I'll cover myself in tattoos, too.

Therefore, Favorite Young Boy didn't find some other kids with whom to play tag or claim a swing. No, he ran off to climb a tree.


Before we could say, Where in the hell has that kid gone now? he had his foot stuck in the crook of a tree and was hanging upside down, well above the ground.

He has always sworn that his father and I simply stood there and looked at him while he swayed in the breeze, but in reality, we dashed over to pull him out of the tree. On that one occasion, he did not suffer any injuries.

The subject of You stood and looked at me while I hung upside down in the tree continues to come up, but now Favorite Young Man has changed his tune. Last week he told me that he wished we had left him in the tree so he could have become a Canadian.

Hell, yeah, I said. Some nice Canadians would have pulled you out of the tree, taken you home with them, and given you an excellent childhood. Now you'd be a happy Canadian. What a mistake we made when we saved your sorry now-tattooed ass.

No doubt the story of the boy in the tree in Stanley Park in Vancouver, British Columbia, will come up again, as these tales do. Until the day I die, I expect to be accused of standing around to watch as he hung upside down in the tree. But now, I stand accused of eventually rescuing him when he could have had a better life as a Canadian.

I can't win.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

39 comments:

  1. You get all the guilt, either way, Mama.

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  2. It is interesting how family tales morph over time isn't it.

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    1. This tale has changed and now grown but never gone away.

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  3. No doubt Favorite Young Man has made life much more interesting.

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  4. Has he ever considered some lovely Canadian would have lifted him down and swatted his now tattooed butt, too.

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    1. Canadians don't do that. They're too nice.

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  5. Well, Canada makes all the top five lists, when it comes to things like 'quality of life', 'safety'. etc. Life is good here and we have universal healthcare (and Justin Trudeau instead of Donald Trump). I keep hearing about Americans wanting to come here, especially lately. Maybe that's where Favourite Young Man's latest comment stems from? Memory can be so selective, sometimes. Like most of us, he's probably harbouring some childhood resentments. No sane parent would leave their child hanging from a tree!

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    1. Oh, yes, he definitely wants to be Canadian because of the benefits. But what makes you think I was ever a sane parent?

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  6. LOL! Isn't that how family stories go? ;) ;)

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    1. Oh, yes. I never hear the end of it.

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  7. I visited Stanley Park once; it was beautiful. Didn't see your son, though!!

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    1. You didn't see that red-haired boy hanging upside down in a tree? I don't know how you missed him. Maybe some nice Canadians took him home before you arrived.

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  8. Those darn kids. They bring up the same old mistakes over and over to get maximum guilt out of their parents. Or for comic effect. I've never been able to decide which it is for sure. But parents can do the same thing ...

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    1. Oh, I don't let HIM forget some things he did that drove me nuts.

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  9. What if the Canadians though he was something that needed t be pruned from that tree? Inquiring minds want to know.

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    1. He was already circumcised, but if he hadn't been, that pruning could have been interesting.

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  10. Our children often remember things differently to us

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  11. This is hysterical. My sister still tells the story of the time I made her fall out of a tree. No, I told her to hold on and she let go of the branch. She didn't follow directions and just fell out!

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    1. Oh, c'mon. You shoved her out, you big meanie!

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  12. Trump's election has a lot of us US citizens wishing we were Canadians.

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    1. I wonder if I can be an expat art collector in Canada.

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  13. That is funny. I'm sure it's said in good fun. :)

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    1. Yes, it is. We always laugh when we talk about it.

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  14. wahahahahahahahahahahahaha !
    It is like male selective hearing. Lucky You.

    cheers, parsnip and thehamish

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  15. There are far worse things than being stranded in Vancouver. He could've ended up in New Jersey.

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    1. Then his rich aunt would have adopted him. That would have pleased him even more than becoming a Canadian.

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  16. For some reason I kept reading Canadian tree as Canadian Tire...hahahaaa. I was wondering what event made you talk about that store we have and all call Crappy Tire:) I now realize that he was just stuck in a tree and wishes to be Canadian. I love how memories can be so different from what the others have seen to how we remember things from years past

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    1. I remembered a lot of things differently from the way my parents recalled them. I was definitely right.

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  17. My story I won't let my parents forget is that they FORCED me to take piano lessons and practice when it was clear I had zero musical talent. Also, that they forced me to eat lima beans, which literally made me gag.

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    1. I always got sent to bed without supper on meatloaf night because I wouldn't eat it. Turns out I'm allergic to onions, of which my mom used plenty. She never would have admitted that I had an allergy or an illness.

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  18. I may not have kids myself, but I hear what you're saying, Janie.

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    1. I'm glad we brought Favorite Young Man back from Canada with us.

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  19. You're right, Janie! You can't win, and that story will come round and round for decades. At least that has been my personal experience. LOL Very cute story. I love Stanley Park in Vancouver! Have a great week!

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