Friday, March 31, 2017

THE CEPHALOPOD COFFEEHOUSE: MOMMY TRIED TO KILL ME BY SUZY SORO

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,



Welcome one and all to the Cephalopod Coffeehouse, a cozy gathering of book lovers, meeting to discuss their thoughts regarding the works they enjoyed most over the previous month.  Pull up a chair, order your cappuccino and join in the fun. This blog hop is hosted by The Armchair SquidClick on the link to sign up and join us.

The best book that I finished this month is Mommy Tried To Kill Me: Why It's Never Too Early To Start Drinking In Paris by Suzy Soro.

Suzy Soro is my favorite celebrity I've "met" online (she's also the only one who has ever responded to my emails or to tweets in which I mention her). She's hilarious, and I wish she still blogged. When I learned she had a new book out, I bought it immediately.




Suzy and her sister Lindy spent parts of their childhood living in France with their mother, who had gotten divorced from their father after twenty-nine years of marriage, and later married a Frenchman named Jean. But now little Suzy and Lindy are all grown up, and their mother is not running around Paris with Jean (thank God because he's dead). But she has become a lady of elderly or at least older status, who can still pull what Suzy and Lindy call "The French-Face: an eye roll up to the left, an almost imperceptible shake of the head, and a contemptuous, dismissive shrug. I'm a standup comic: I can recognize signs of contempt from space."

So the older lady who can French-Face with the best of them is eighty-nine, refuses to live in the United States so she can be near Suzy and Lindy, she's fallen in her Paris home and she doesn't have one of those buttons to push to say I've fallen and I can't get up (let me clue you in on something: those buttons are worthless because when I worked in the nursing home, we played host to a load of people who had fallen and couldn't get up and they had the button but couldn't remember how to push it or maybe their thumbs got cut off when they fell), so someone scooped her up and took her to the hospital. Suzy and Lindy travel to Paris to see their mother, and Suzy stays on to clean out the apartment her mother has decided to sell and to help darling French-Face Mommy recover. 

This book is Suzy's memoir about her stay in Paris, doing the best she can to assist someone who does not want her assistance, and whose every conversation with Suzy "invariable devolves into what I'm doing wrong with my life, like how I never got a real job. And don't have a 401(k). Or at the very least, a husband with a real job and a 401(k)." Suzy also reveals plenty of interesting and unusual family secrets, including stories about her father's numerous wives.

Mommy Tried To Kill Me is poignant and Sorodonic (my combination of Soro and sardonic) by turns. When it gets too sad––as stories about elderly people who are injured and sinking into dementia must do, especially when they pick on the daughter who is doing her utmost to help out while freezing to death in Paris and trying to remember the French that has pretty much absented itself from her brain––you can count on Suzy to come up with a Sorokism (my combination of Soro, which means funny in some language other than French, and some sarcasm): "If parents want to hide something, they should attach it to their keys. They can never find those."

Mommy Tried To Kill Me: Why It's Never Too Early To Start Drinking In Paris earns The Janie Junebug Seal Of Highest Hilarical Tinged By Whimsy And Weirdness Approval.

You can purchase it on Amazon at https://goo.gl/zWy0Qy. You can also buy Suzy Soro's first book, Celebrity sTalker, on Amazon at https://goo.gl/9QgSvP, but you'll have to buy the Kindle version unless you want one of the four paperbacks they say are available for $59.99 and up. Or I'll consider selling my autographed copy of this hilarious book for about a million bucks. It's negotiable, but my rock-bottom price is $999,999.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

Hey, you. Yeah, you, the person who read my post all the way to the end. The people who quit early are going to wonder where I am during April. Well, you are in the know if you read a tiny bit more. I don't blog during April because I leave the cruelest month to the A to Z-ers. I'm editing a book, and should have one or two more to work on soon. If you have a grammatical emergency or want to beg me to edit your book, please email me at dumpedfirstwife@gmail.com. I'll be back on blog patrol in May. Be there or be square.


56 comments:

  1. Darling, that was such a kind and generous review I'm now waiting on your funny memoir! And to coin 2 phrases from my name just FLOORS ME NO END. You are a jewel. xoxoxo

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    1. LOOK! EVERYBODY LOOK! SUZY SORO COMMENTED ON MY BLOG. SORRY ABOUT ALL THE CAPS BUT IT'S SUCH A NICE COMMENT THAT I'M REALLY EXCITED. I'M FAMOUS BY ASSOCIATION. MAYBE I CAN LEARN TO BE FUNNY BY ASSOCIATION, TOO.

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  2. Sounds like a very good read. And ... you're already funny (see above). Have a good month away!

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  3. I won't be around this April either, altho I usually do the A-Z fest. Good editing.

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  4. Great review and a comment from the author. That's cool. See you in May.

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  5. Thanks for pointing us in the direction of a fascinating story.

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    1. I think you and Mrs. C. would enjoy Suzy's books.

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  6. Thanks for sharing this. It's not one for me, but I'm going to get it for my mama! Sounds like a bit of a hoot, with a lot of heart.
    In completely unrelated nonsense, my seven year old son, today, lamented his lack of French-ness. We can't all be everything, I told him. (That gem will likely cost me a boatload in therapy in ten years.)
    Thanks for sharing, enjoy your April. See you soon!
    V :)

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    1. When my son was three, he decided he wanted to be a Catholic instead of a Lutheran. It did not happen. Now he's an atheist. You're right: we can't all be everything, but he's "nothing." I hope your mom loves the book.

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  7. That sounds like a terrific book. It's hard to beat something that's both funny and touching. I'll check it out, but sorry, I'll have to pass on that million-dollar book. :)

    Enjoy your break! I'll be taking the month of April off, too. (Obviously, great minds really DO think alike.)

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    1. Obviously! I hope you enjoy the book.

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  8. Have a lovely April! Catch you in May!

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    1. Get out of the kitchen, Anne, and read Suzy's book. Maybe I'll come up with another recipe during May. Something like how to boil spaghetti and dump sauce from a jar on top of it.

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  9. Sorodonic... very nice. The book sounds like fun. Recognizing signs of contempt from space - that's a good one.

    I'm glad to know you'll be available for grammatical emergencies.

    Happy April!

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    Replies
    1. I don't want anyone to have a panic attack worrying about who v. whom.

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    2. Try to stay clear of the Trump tweets. That could only end in grammatical tears.

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    3. But his use of parentheses fascinates (thrills) me. Happy! Thrilled! Fascinated!

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    4. He only uses the BEST parentheses. They're huge!

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  10. Sounds like an author I would enjoy. Thanks, Janie. (So cool that she commented!) Welcome spring and enjoy your month off. :)

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    1. Thanks. I think you would enjoy her wonderful wit.

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  11. So nice the way everything worked out with the author.
    The book sound terrific.

    cheers, parsnip

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    Replies
    1. Suzy is a joy. Her tweets are so funny.

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  12. Replies
    1. It definitely is. Suzy always makes me laugh, but she makes me feel, too.

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  13. I enjoyed your review of "Mommy Tried ..." Enjoy your break, JJ! I avoid participating in the A to Z. I would go down in flames at about C.

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    1. I don't even know what I'd use for a theme, so I'd never get to "A".

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  14. Added to my "to read" list! Sounds like a good book.
    Also, enjoy your month off blogging (but not off work). See you in May :)

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    1. Thank you! I hope you get a chance to read the book.

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  15. It sounds like an interesting read. I like your invented words :) I hope you enjoy your month off of blogging!

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    1. I enjoy everything because I'm filled with good cheer.

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  16. I know what sorodonic means because you told us, but I don't know what soro or sardonic mean. So I have a few words to look up. Well, I think I know what sardonic means, cuz I think I am sardonic. Anyway, missy, you are loved. You'll get through this stretch to a better day.

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    1. Soro means funny (I can't remember what language that is, but it's not French), and yes you need to look up sardonic. And all right.

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  17. Saw this and thought you would enjoy it! Have a great April!

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39459831

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you in advance for me liking it.

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    2. I watched it. I loved it. I want to be The Grammar Vigilante. I need a cape and a Grammarmobile.

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  18. Sounds like a good read Janie.
    R

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  19. I'm sold just based on the title. Sounds like a great read, and how cool that she's actually replied to you.

    Enjoy your April. Our mamas may not try to kill us, but A to Z definitely would.

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    1. I think you of all people would enjoy Suzy's humor and edginess.

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  20. I was going to take April off, but I was out most of March. I'm not going to attempt the A-Z though. I love doing it, but just can't manage this year.

    Ahh, moms. I used to always try to raise mine- I suppose I was the bitch trying to make my dreamer mom consider a 401k. I guess she finally taught me that you can relax and enjoy life a little too.

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    1. I can't imagine anyone thinking of you as a bitch, Elizabeth, and I bet your mom was glad that you cared about her enough to be concerned about her future. She probably said, That Elizabeth! She's the best!

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  21. Oh sure, I stop in to say hi and you are not blogging for the month. Well, I completely understand. The A-Z can be a bit much. Still, I've done it twice before and I'm kind of missing it now.
    As for your book, sounds like a very interesting read. Yes, it can be sad in parts, but interesting to be sure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I decided to take a break so I could frustrate you.

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  22. Hey Janie, it's been a long time since we connected so I just thought I'd pop over to see how you're doing. I enjoyed the book review and I'm sure it's a good story but I'm not a big reader other than blogs. Have a good month and I'll see ya around. I'm doing the A2Z thingy this year. Feel free to pick up with today's post Art Sketching Through the Alphabet with the letter "E" (elephant, eagle, elk)! Have an electric day a2zing! ;)

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  23. Sounds like a great book! And I do love an author who responds to things written about her or him.

    Good move, taking the month off. Enjoy your edits!

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  24. Well I should say thank you for commenting on my blog as you are having a month off! Enjoy the break.

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  25. Sounds like a good book! Enjoy your time off in April. See you when you return in May.

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  26. Hey Janie. Enjoy the time away from blogging. Good-luck with your editing projects. Sending you hugs.

    I usually avoid books that are too sad. I don't handle the sadness well. It stays with me for days afterwards.

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  27. Sounds a very interesting read. Hope you enjoy your month and your edits. Take care.

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