Sunday, July 10, 2011

LAP WARNING SIGNS

TEN WARNING SIGNS YOU MAY BE A LAP
(LUTHERAN AMERICAN PRINCESS)

1. Your mom never taught you to make tuna hot dish or jello salad because she was sure you were destined for better things.

2. You played the cello in the school orchestra even though it meant you had to part your knees like Moses was about to enter your Red Sea.

3. The name of your college started with a "C," but it was Columbia, not Concordia.

4. Relatives say you are too smart for your own good..


5. When the women went to make coffee after the service, you always begged off, saying you didn't know how. 


6.You are a registered Democrat.


7. You have to read the liturgy from the Lutheran Book of Worship.


8. You deny your Norwegian-ness.


9. It doesn't bother you at all to admit you can't stand your in-laws.


10. You live in New York, won't visit your relatives in the Midwest, call yourself a shiksa and your husband a putz.


***** Note: Lose half your Lap Points if you sneak into a local Lutheran church on Christmas Eve to sing Silent Night during the passing of the peace or you arrive at 6 a.m. on Easter morning and a tear comes to your eye at the scent of the lilies.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Got your panties in a bunch? Dig 'em out, get comfortable, and let's chat.